Worst Caribbean holiday EVER!
Journalist Michael Caine tries to bond with his miserable, spoiled son while investigating a story unfolding in the Caribbean: why are tourist boats just disappearing? Could it be pirates? Note to filmmakers: if you don't introduce any jollity, pirate movies are hell on earth. Just like your worst memories of summer camp: uncomfortable in every way, from the not-refreshing sleep you wake from to the ever-present threat of possible child abuse and/or starvation. That's right, I hate camping, tents, the whole kit and kaboodle even if it's in the Caribbean. Michael Caine gets chained up and married to one hell of a homely woman, while his son is brainwashed by a primitive tribe of inbred Caucasian castaways. Luckily there's a pretty fantastic ending worth waiting for. The father-son hug at the end is truly a testament to the unfailing love parents have for their children. I would have spanked the little bastard black and blue!
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