Showing posts with label Unwatchable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unwatchable. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Shark! / Caine (1969), Samuel Fuller.

The DVD I watched was distributed by the guys from Troma. This is the most awesome fake skyline ever, I LOVE it!

A young Burt Reynolds and sharks in a movie directed by Samuel Fuller!  Hoo boy, did I get all excited for nothing.  In his autobiography A Third Face, Samuel Fuller describes sitting through a private screening  of the final film with Peter Bogdanovich.  "What a horrible shock I had!" he writes, "They'd completely recut my movie, retitling it Man-Eater, refashioning almost every scene to suit their tastes, which were lousy... Over and over, the producers butchered scenes, destroying all trace of timing and subtlety. I was flabbergasted with their reediting."  Shark! is one of a string of B-movies Fuller directed towards the end of his career where the arrangements with his producers turned out badly (Fuller eventually petitioned to have his name removed from the credits to the film).  I can't believe Fuller actually sat through the entire film. 

Sudan?  So this is the Red Sea, I guess?

Shark! is supposedly set in Sudan but was filmed in Mexico.  In it, Burt Reynolds is an American adventurer and arms dealer who agrees to cooperate with another couple in their attempts to recover treasure from a sunken ship in shark-infested waters.  The copy I watched was in terrible shape.  I'm no technical whiz, but it looked like it was cut into pan-and-scan -- is this part of the butchering Fuller described?  The reediting was not the first bump in the road - Fuller's account of the film's shoot is one of problematic local arrangements and a script that did not inspire him.  He praises Burt Reynolds for keeping his chin up and making the best of a bad situation.  Trying to visualize what could have been was an impossible task for me with Shark!  

Won't you at least look at me when I'm talking to you? Burt Reynolds and the back of Silvia Pinal's head.

What kind of over the shoulder shot is this!?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Convoy (Sam Peckinpah), 1978.

The saddest little birthday present in the world.

Unwatchable!  OK, well, possibly if I were in my PJs eating a hot dog in a drive in.  Otherwise, not.  Ridiculous CB movie based on the hit song by CW McCall. Kris Kristofferson is "Rubber Duck" and drives a big truck with Ali McGraw as a reluctant passenger.  That is, after he leaves his waitress girlfriend at the truck stop wearing sophisticated, well-to-do McGraw's clothes she doled out for free to all the po' folks.  McGraw's perm is monumentally unflattering.  Ernest Borgnine is a sadistic cop out to get Rubber Duck and his trucker buddies as they race through the desert landscape.

Even Ernest can't save this mess.

Now, I love Borgnine's smug, evil grin and bandy walk and I am currently losing the battle in my house to take the TCM cruise in December with 94-year-old Mr Borgnine and fantasy grandpa Robert Osborne (damn it!) but even I had to walk away from this dreck.  During filming, Peckinpah struggled with addiction issues and may have turned director's duties over to others.  The shopping list of failed gimmicks include:  a heavy use of slow-mo during action scenes, badly overdubbed dialogue and corny double exposure effects (below) set to an orchestral soundtrack.  Why are McGraw and Kristofferson not wearing shirts for most of the movie?  It's like Smokey and the Bandit made by grad students.  Ugh!  

The final straw - what is this?!