What are you implying? I'm just whittling my harpoon over here.
I love Kirk Douglas. He's so goddamn enthusiastic! It's as if he savours every breath he takes, and I doubt it was just the ham acting -- he always strikes me as a guy who grabbed what he could lay his hands on and enjoyed every minute of it. Now let's picture 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea without Kirk Douglas. Pretty lame, huh? Discounting a seal named Esmerelda and two prostitutes that appear briefly in the first scene, we have an entirely male cast (all the shots on the first ship look like gay Victorian erotica, what with all the bearded sailors). Captain Nemo (James Mason looking, as someone commented to me, "like a shorn Wayne Coyne,") is a misanthropic submarine despot and Peter Lorre just looks depressed. Was 20,000 Leagues a proto-tent pole summer flick? It's a little boy escapist fantasy and is kitted out with super gadgets and explosions. I am curious about the technical aspects and whether they furthered the artform at all, what with all the models, wide shots and undersea filming. But when those end credits rolled, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of despair and my ass was seeing stars.
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