Saturday, May 26, 2012

The Terror of the Tongs (1961), Anthony Bushell.

Christopher Lee, or should I say Li?

Even discounting the white guys-dressing-up-as-Asians charade aside, The Terror of the Tongs is not a great movie.  It's not very sexy, the story meanders, and its hero Captain Jack Sale (Geoffrey Toone) is just a stuffed-shirt caricature of British correctness.  My attention wandered during this one, but I'll summarize:  Sale lands in Hong Kong where his teenaged daughter (over?) excitedly awaits his return.  He also unwittingly brings with him a list of names of members of the Tong underworld, which has been planted on him.  A parade of Chinese gangsters run after the list, leaving behind a bloody trail of chopped fingers and other delights.  The Terror of the Tongs doesn't succeed at building up much suspense.  Once the list is burned, Sale continues on a revenge mission to seek out the roots of the Tong gangs.  Once he comes face to face with Christopher Lee, local head of the Tongs, he continues to have dull adventures dodging wooden axes.  Christopher Lee sits on a throne.  Aside from a ghastly torture scene, it's blah blah blah... "Asian" chicks, finale.

Captain Sale bullies a local.  I guess Chinese guys are known for their crazy eyebrows?


Yeah, so getting back to the deal about casting Europeans in heinous makeup to play Asians.  It seems to me that 1961 is rather late for this approach.  We have the immortal Burt Kwouk of Pink Panther fame here in a straight role, hunting down Tongs.  Sadly, he doesn't even last a couple of scenes.  Kwouk was really chewing his dialogue in great contrast to Toone's lips-barely-moving approach to acting so the decision to lose him so early was unfortunate.

Dammit, I was hoping for way more Burt Kwouk!

There's a couple of other Asians, mostly extras in the background, but almost all speaking roles go to white guys.  It just seems odd.  I suppose the argument would be that in '61, a British audience wouldn't have any interest in watching a film with a predominantly Asian cast?  So the movie then becomes a series of distractions as to whose eyes look the oddest and who summons the weirdest fake Chinese accent.  Thank goodness Christopher Lee decided against ching-chong singsong, although his false lidless eyes look plasticized and very uncomfortable.  This movie also takes advantages of the entire checklist of Asian stereotypes:  the sexy half-breed, wise grandma, the cowardly coolie, the sweaty bald weightlifting Asian guy on 'roids.  Question:  if Asian women are so hot, why were there none in the movie?  

This is my bone-scraping face!

I am just a poor half-breed lady that bought her entire outfit at that place in the mall that dyes your shoes to match your prom dress!  

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