Johnny Alucard (Christopher Neame) holds a Black Mass.
Oh dear! Fourteen years after The Horror of Dracula, and we've got Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee back - in a lame Scooby Doo Dracula. Stephanie Beacham is Jessica Van Helsing, the swinging teen descendant of vampire killer Dr Van Helsing. The bad apple in her kooky gang, Johnny Alucard, turns out to actually be a disciple of Dracula, whom he resurrects in a dark arts ceremony. Dracula goes on a hippie chick biting spree all over Chelsea, puzzling local cops.
Some of the dialogue is unbelievably bad, like this exchange which brings a whole action sequence to a complete halt:
Anna: Professor Van Helsing! I've been looking for you everywhere!
Van Helsing: Who are you?
Anna: Anna. I'm a friend of Jessica's.
Van Helsing: Jessica?
Anna: I phoned you just now and your housekeeper said neither of you were there, and then she said something about the cavern.
Van Helsin: Do you know where Jessica is?
Anna: Your housekeeper said she's gone to the cavern.
Van Helsing: No, she's not there.
OH MY GOD, people! While you are blabbering on THIS could be happening RIGHT NOW!
Christopher Lee, taking a bite out of the first hippie he lays eyes on.
This film is good for laffs but mostly awful and there's only a bit of cleavage to get excited about. I would also like to complain to someone about the lack of muscle cars in this. If you're going to show a bitching hot rod on the movie poster, there better be one in the movie!
"Honest grandpa, I only do a little weed but it's nothing to get excited about." Peter Cushing must have been visualizing the deposits into his chequing account to make it through these scenes.
Saved the best for last. Blinded by an amazing rack!
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