Face/Off (John Woo), 1997.

This would have been more impressive if they hadn't just used a sharpie.

MAN, this is a dumb movie.  And not nearly as fun as The Rock, an equally bombastic piece of insanity.  It's hard to believe this was from the late 90s.  One of the ridiculous climactic scenes looked exactly like the shooting location for for Madonna's Like A Prayer video -- from 1989.  I was just waiting for Jesus to come alive and make out with someone!  Kitschy effects like star bursts and slo-mo have not aged well, either.

Everything is over the top and yet still not wholly exciting, mostly because of the pretentious tone.  We have brothers named Castor and Pollux (you know, like the semi-divine twin brothers from Greek mythology, duh) and each scene is soaked in the bloated orchestral tootings and scrapings of John Powell.  

Nicolas Cage is decent (although we get "boring" Cage for most of the time, after he swaps faces with John Travolta).  Travolta just can't pull off the demanding role of Sean Archer, both the "toughest cop in the country," and a grieving father.  He also does a lousy job of imitating a wild Nic Cage.  (And what's with the Alien-like open-palm caress he does on his wife and daughter's faces?)  Yet Face/Off's 138 minutes were almost worth it just to hear Margaret Cho and John Travolta exchange this dialogue (if only because I thought she said "dick"):  

- Sir, did you just have a surgical procedure?
- What do you mean? 

- Well, was the stick...successfully removed from your ass?